Who do I look like? Rachel Effing Ray?
I am not into handling raw meat. Schwan's made The Roast. I will call him T.R. for "The Roast". He weighs 3 lbs. Basically T.R. came frozen and I had to toss him in the slow cooker. I called my grandma to find out what else I was supposed to throw in with him, such as potatoes and carrots? She thinks it's funny when I cook. She said both and throw some onion on the top. My grandma is an AWESOME cook so she talks in terms like "some" and "a little". I had to pin her down on some details.
She told me to throw in the carrots and potatoes "about" an hour before it was done. Later, around the hour mark, I called to ask her if I had to peel the potatoes. Hahaha. She said yes but not if they are red. I got additional details such as how many pieces to cut them in, etc.
Somehow it later came out that T.R. was in the slow cooker and not the oven. LOL. She laughed and we realized his friends, Potatoes and Carrots, should have been chillin' it out with him the entire time. OMFG. She said, "It never occured to me it was in the slow cooker." I said, "It never occurred to me to put it in the oven." lol.
So I had to take the potatoes and carrots out of the roast and put them in the microwave with "a little bit" of water for "awhile". It was pretty damn funny coversation if you ask me.
Somehow it took me these utensils to make T.R.:
I have no idea how.
I am very undomesticated, especially when it comes to cookin' up carne. Gross.
The whole point is it looks like a roast and smells like a roast. Well, I guess it IS a roast that didn't come to my house bleeding?? My chef of a husband will prob fall over when he comes into the house. Hopefully T.R. doesn't start mooing the scoop and blow my cover.
And god no I'm not eating T.R. We have bonded today since the Schwan's dude gave him to me this morning. I'm having a veggie burger and a Diet Coke, hello :)
When I do cook, for real, not Schwan's, it's pretty awesome. However, I only do this on rare occasion because I use too many utensils :) :)
I'm gonna drink a Spotted Cow with dinner though. =Love.
Moocho love,
Ann
4 comments:
*lol* This reminds me of something that happened to Julia. She was invited over for dinner with some friends. They had TR too. They figured she could eat the carrots and potatoes that were cooked with the roast. They're hearts were in the right place.
Hilarious! I LOVE your grandma.
Hahaha! The same grandma once made me green beans with bacon but picked the bacon out of mine. I could taste it right away. lol.
Yeah, she's my idol but I could never be as great as she is! She can pretty much do everything and knows everything and has everything.
OMFG Ann! I haven't been on Blogger for awhile and am catching up on today! This post freaking had me laughing out loud. I am a great baker, but a horrendous cook (my husband is the Chef as well!) When you said it never occurred to me to put it in the oven - I am dying over here - that would totally be me! My hubby next to me agreed.
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