Happy Turkey (or Tofurky) Day!!

Two days of celebration in a row!! I just can't take the goodness!! I was considering writing a super sappy blog post about how I'm thankful for my lovely husband and daughter, my family, my pets, Von Maur's shoe section, etc etc etc... Luckily for you, I reconsidered. I thought it would be much more fun to discuss your favorite topic and mine - VEGETARIANISM. This is good day to do it because just like all other years, I'll get 50 questions from my aunts when I get to my grandma's house, go through the line and don't get turkey. :)

I actually like talking about my vegetarianism. Some ask questions to get information and are interested in me as a person, but most try to "trick" me into eating meat or "convince" me being a vegetarian is silly. However, I've already had the exact convo 2,964,206,299 times! In doing so, I've developed Ann's List of Vegetarian FAAQ - Frequently (Annoying) Asked Questions. :)

It's hilarious because FAAQers never EVER suspect I've had the FAAQ with anyone else before (gasp!). For you FAAQ virgins out there, today is your lucky day!! I don't get offended by the FAAQ but it does get annoying when the FAAQ lasts for longer than 15 minutes. If you read the FAAQ to a vegetarian on a first date, I promise you there will NOT be a second (remember, she has had the FAAQ before!!). FAAQ a die-hard vegan and there's a good chance they'll grab a gun and go postal on your a$$ (they won't kill animals but they might kill you). I would hate for you to be killed by not learning something from my blog, so without further ADO:

Note: The AA's I try to avoid saying unless roped into by someone who just won't give up. :) I don't like to go into detail because then the QUESTIONERS start getting offended by my answers!! LOL! And I don't even want to have the convo in the first place. Ha!

Ann's List of Vegetarian FAAQ:

"You're a vegetarian??? Why???"

SA (Short Answer): I don't like to eat meat.

AA (Actual Answer): I hate eating anything that was alive or animals being killed.

MT (My Take): Why ask this? If you're at Johnny's Italian Steakhouse and you just ordered prime rib medium-rare, and your date/co-worker/family member just ordered bruschetta as their meal, can we not just assume they're veggie and go on without the FAAQ? The answer is, "no." Usually it's asked and the entire table of 15 will go silent to listen to my answer (possibly developing their own FAAQ).

"(innocently) Are you a vegan or a vegetarian?"

*Note: This seemingly innocent FAAQ is the worst by far! FAAQers use this question to build a case against you, ask more FAAQs and get you to admit you kill animals and should eat them, too!*

SA: Actually depends on my situation at the time but usually I say, "vegetarian."

AA: I LOVE being a vegan but it's so hard. In my experience, I'm always starving and lose too much weight too quickly.

MT: I try to avoid eating anything with eggs, gelatin (yuck), marshmallows (ugh), milk. I have the hardest time avoiding cheese because I can only eat so many green salads and I go out to eat A LOT. Also, true vegans avoid any leather goods and I can't really make a statement by burning my Audi (bank might get pissed), and I have a hard time avoiding leather goods such as shoes and handbags which I do feel bad about, trust me. Now don't go developing your own FAAQ and reference my prior posts about handbags :) FAAQers normally scope my bag and question me on it. It's like, "Really? Are we going to go there?" I realize this FAAQ leads to millions of other FAAQ's like "If you don't like green salad, you could have the chef make you a veggie sandwich, etc" but trust me, I know AND this FAAQ needs to end at some point. Now would be a good time.

"(insinuating) Are you mad I'm getting a steak?"

SA: No, I could care less.

AA: No, I literally could care less what anyone else eats, including you. *smiles sweetly*

MT: I don't FAAQ people. :)

"You don't eat fish either???"

SA: Hell no. :)

AA: Hell no. UGH...gross!!!!

MT: Why does anyone care?

"God put animals on the Earth for us to eat."

SA: I don't believe that.

AA: Totally the same as the SA! [*Optional laugh*]

MT: I've never heard this FAAQ from someone who actually goes to church! LOL!

"Weird. So how do you get calcium if you don't drink milk?"

SA: I take supplements.

AA: I don't take supplements but realize calcium comes in forms other than milk.

MT: I also realize we are the only mammals on the planet that drink breast milk after infant stage. :) Has anyone noticed an elephant wandering around the tundra desparately looking for a gallon of 2%???? No, it drinks water!

"Hmm. You really have to careful to get enough protein."

SA: I am. I eat a lot of tofu. Yummy!!

AA: SA plus I realize that most Americans eat WAYYYYYY too much protein than they actually need so it's just wasted in the body anyway.

MT: No one really cares about my protein intake but it's just something FAAQers feel they need to state (although they couldn't tell you in a million years how much protein they consume). There are MANY vegetarian animals, such a giraffes, who live without animal protein. Who has seen a giraffe wasting away in the jungle trying to find some carcus?? No one. They cut to the chase and eat leaves. :)

"(skeptically) You're not making Belle be a vegetarian, are you?"

SA: No. She lives off chicken nuggets.

AA: She just recently discovered I was a vegetarian because her aunt (shocking) asked her if I was still a vegetarian. She has just never noticed. :) Now she is interested in it but not because of me! If I have another baby, it's straight to soy milk again, though.

"Well..what does Kurt say?"

SA: He's used to it.

AA: He read me the FAAQ in a nice way when we first starting dating. I was surprised he was so nice about it because he loves his carnivoreness.

MT: Love him forever but who really cares? I mean, I could never talk him into eating a bag of soy crisps and no one questions him.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!! Even to my favorite FAAQers (you know who you are)! :) Without you, I wouldn't have been able to compose this life-saving list of FAAQ's!

Namaste and love to y'all.

A.