Deal with the Devil

Yes, I made one. F***! Not that my husband is Satan himself, but he sure as hell (no pun intended) is the g.d. anti-Christ of clutter. Nothing makes him go all male PMS more than a stack of magazines with a pair of sunglasses, a random Von Maur receipt and a bottle of nail polish on top. Leave this on the table inside the entryway and don't expect a conversation for two hours...instead expect lots of loud sighing and dirty looks. Most of the time I think it's cute/funny...after I came to accept his freakishly clean ways and realized that wow - I no longer have to clean. Yay!

Anyway, so he says I'm a packrat. I say I'm eclectic. Of course, I am right and he is wrong because I am pregnant and he is not! :) That being said, I have FINALLY admitted my need to downsize my junkola from our HUGGGE farmhouse to the new farmhouse. Current farmhouse has no closet space and a serial-killer basement. New farmhouse is way smaller but has tons of closets and storage space (including a dry basement). The fact that it's way smaller, means I gotta unload some serious eclecticness. Stat! I can't be doing this all last minute!

Basically, I like things to look really neat but my closets and drawers are an action-packed DISASTER. So I'm not sure if you'd say I were a neat person or not...I guess I'm "fake neat. The fake neatness extra extra sucks in an 100+ year old farmhouse because closets were built to hold only like two homemade dresses and a hoop skirt. Ugh!!!!!

So, last night I cleaned out my 4-drawer dresser. I packed an entire huge garbage bag of throw-away clothing and also got a heaping laundry basket full of clothing for the Goodwill. That dresser should not even be able to hold that many clothing items!!! And it still has lots of stuff in it!!! It felt so good to clean out this dresser that I told Lucifer I would "clean out" one thing per day. He was so overwhelmed with joy, he sprouted angel wings and started floating around the house. I thought he was going to propose again immediately. Then, I rained on his parade when I told him it could be something big (like a dresser) or something small (like a shoebox). Regardless, he can ask me about it each day and if I haven't done anything, I have to grab something immediately and throw it away. OMG!

Since he's probably on his way home from the farm now, I better get crackin'.

Wish me luck. Updates to be posted, for sure. I should post pics too.

Mucho love!
Moi :)

P.S. I forgot to mention my husband is pefect and awesome except for his little clean regime/Sleeping with the Enemyish ways. :) But it sure is nice to have a sparkling house all the time! :) So it's worth it!

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UPDATE!!!

K so fastforward two hours from when I originally posted this blog. I was under a lil' bit of a time constraint and expected Stew to be home any second. I was snooping around the casa trying to find something that was worth my time to clean out yet not too big of a project. I looked in my lotion cabinet. Never a good choice. I mean everyone needs 100 bottles of various lotions and 74 bottles of sunscreen...so what's to throw away there!?!? I opened Kurt's nemesis (the computer desk) and quickly shut the drawers and ran screaming the other way.

Finally, I came back to our bedroom. Our nightstand has kind of hidden lower shelf that is nothing short of a nightmare. It doesn't bother me too much b/c it's on his side of the bed and by the wall so I literally NEVER go over there. And you cannot see the lower part of the nightstand from anywhere else in the room (fake neat). I discovered a bunch of random stuff stacked up on that shelf. Here's what the garbage bag claimed:

Approximately 7 bridal magazines, apparently from early last year when we were wedding planning. Oops. A software package of various fonts (also from wedding planning), a couple random best-seller paperbacks I bought in airports but didn't read and *drumroll* my favorite paperback of the night: Adam Smith's WEALTH OF NATIONS. I mean, REALLY? For those of you that know what this book is, I am positive you're laughing your a$$ off right now. I think I bought this book when I was trying to be all collegiate (I graduated in May 2000, so before then) but never read it then and I sure as hell won't read it now! I mean the pages were now YELLOW and when I bought it, it cost $7.95 from Brentan books, which I think used to be the bookstore at the mall before Borders and Barnes & Noble rolled into town!!!!! I'm dying! LOL. I checked Borders.com and it's now selling for $15.95!!! OMG, okay, I'll admit this is kind of fun cleaning out this stuff...and I have NO IDEA why I have this stuff stashed!! This innocently-looking nightstand yielded almost 1/2 a garbage bag of trash. I'm dying.

Things from the nightstand that made the cut: a vintage purse, an awesome hardcover book on Fashion my friend Larry gave me, a paperback dream book, Kurt's farmer's almanac and a box of kleenex.

Here is the description of Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, for those unfamiliar. Click here.